Ted Nugent and Romney – The “Cluck Cluck Gang,” America’s Biggest Chickens


Read About Nugent, Romney’s New Spokesman, and Fellow “Chickenhawk”


Nugent and Romney “Hall of Shame” Charter Members


 by  Gordon Duff, Senior Editor


This week, the Federal government banned Ted Nugent from hunting on their public land because of violations, not exactly “poaching.” 

You see, Nugent, cashing in on huntintg TV show, wounded a bear in Alaska, being the “expert” he is, and went out for a second try without tracking down the first one.  That is against the law.

However, when the Secret service came to see Ted, he “ate his words” and backed down, not for the thousandth time it seems:

Use of the violent metaphors earned Nugent a visit from Secret Service agents on Thursday. He said Friday on his website that he had with them a “good, solid professional meeting concluding that I have never made any threats of violence toward anyone.”

This still got Nugent banned from military bases, also not for the first time.  As you will read before, when called to Fort Wayne in Detroit for his draft physical, Nugent smeared himself with feces.

Hauling out the KIA's

This is the same place I entered the Marine Corps, where nearly 3500 who died in Vietnam entered the service.

I wasn’t there on the day Nugent showed up for his physical, if his story, listed below, is actually true.  I suspect it is all fiction as he wouldn’t have made it home that day as you might guess.

But then, Ted, some of the worst trash Detroit has ever produced, is above the law.  We won’t talk about how many strings he had to pull, how hard the NRA had to beg and plead so he wouldn’t be arrested for his threat against the president.

It would be different if anyone had reason to be afraid of Nugent.  This ain’t Chuck Norris, not by a long shot.

First, let’s enjoy this interview with High Times Magazine that Ted Nugent did back in  October 1977.  As a Marine combat vet who served in Vietnam, a fellow Detroiter who knows many of the same folks Ted does, surprisingly many, first we hear it from his own mouth.

I actually get dodging the draft, it is a GOP tradition but this makes the stories Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney and even George W. Bush could but have the sense “not to ” tell, make them seem like heros.  Enjoy.  This is the kind of people that the NRA is made up of:

“High Times:  How did you get out of the draft?

Young Ted - Cleaned Up

Ted Nugent: Ted was a young boy, appearing to be a hippie but quite opposite in fact, working hard and playing hard, playing rock and roll like a deviant. People would question my sanity, I played so much. So I got my notice to be in the draft. Do you think I was gonna lay down my guitar and go play army? Give me a break! I was busy doin’ it to it. I had a career Jack.

If I was walkin’ around, hippying down, getting’ loaded and pickin’ my ass like your common curs, I’d say “Hey yeah, go in the army. Beats the poop out of scuffin’ around in the gutters.” But I wasn’t a gutter dog. I was a hard workin’, motherf***n’ rock and roll musician.

 I got my physical notice 30 days prior to. Well, on that day I ceased cleansing my body. No more brushing my teeth, no more washing my hair, no baths, no soap, no water. Thirty days of debris build. I stopped shavin’ and I was 18, had a little scraggly beard, really looked like a hippie. I had long hair, and it started gettin’ kinky, matted up.

Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value. I just had chips, Pepsi, beer-stuff I never touched-buttered poop, little jars of Polish sausages, and I’d drink the syrup, I was this side of death, Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, pi** the whole shot. My pants got crusted up.

A Young Chicken Hawk

See, I approached the whole thing like, Ted Nugent, cool hard-workin’ dude, is gonna wreak havoc on these imbeciles in the armed forces. I’m gonna play their own game, and I’m gonna destroy ‘em.

Now my whole body is crusted in poop and pi**. I was ill. And three or four days before, I started stayin’ awake. I was close to death, but I was in control. I was extremely antidrug as I’ve always been, but I snorted some crystal methedrine. Talk about one wounded motherf****r.

A guy put up four lines, and it was for all four of us, but I didn’t know and I’m vacuuming that poop right up. I was a walking, talking hunk of human poop. I was six-foot-three of sin. So the guys took me down to the physical, and my nerves, my emotions were distraught. I was not a good person. I was wounded. But as painful and nauseous as it was – ‘cause I was really into bein’ clean and on the ball – I made gutter swine hippies look like football players. I was deviano.

 So I went in, and those guys in uniform couldn’t believe the smell. They were ridiculin’ me and pushin’ me around and I was cryin’, but all the time I was laughin’ to myself. When they stuck the needle in my arm for the blood test I passed out, and when I came to they were kicking me into the wall. Then they made everybody take off their pants, and I did, and this sergeant says, “Oh my God, put those back on! You f*****g swine you!”

Ted - Doing an impersonation of...something

Then they had a urine test and I couldn’t pi**, but my poop was just like ooze, man, so I poop in the cup and put it on the counter. I had poop on my hand and my arm.

The guy almost puked. I was so proud. I knew I had these chumps beat. The last thing I remember was wakin’ up in the ear test booth and they were sweepin’ up. So I went home and cleaned up.

 They took a putty knife to me. I got the street rats out of my hair, ate some good steaks, beans, potatoes, cottage cheese, milk. A couple of days and I was ready to kick ass. And in the mail I got this big juicy 4-F. They’d call dead people before they’d call my ass. But you know the funny thing about it?

I’d make an incredible army man. I’d be a colonel before you knew what hit you, and I’d have the baddest bunch of motherf****n’ killers you’d ever seen in my platoon. But I just wasn’t into it. I was too busy doin’ my own thing, you know.”

Funny thing, Ted, but we don’t remember a lot of call for “shit snorting” in Vietnam.  But, if there is every a Blowhard of the Year award, and we may well put one out, Ted Nugent along with Mitt Romney, Rush Limbaugh and the “Chickenhawk” list will all get at least something from us, perhaps something they won’t enjoy.

Here is the official list from the New Hampshire Gazette.

Chickenhawk Hall of Shame

When an American male (or an especially belligerent female) makes the challenging transition from late adolescence into early adulthood, he is faced with many decisions.

One certain, specific combination of choices will result in his becoming a chickenhawk: choosing to “support” war, while also choosing not to serve in the military. His motto becomes: “Let’s you and him go fight; I’ll hold your coat.”

Depending on external circumstances, such an individual may become one of three varieties of chickenhawk:

• If there is no draft, and the nation is at peace, the individual becomes a Common Chickenhawk;

• If there is a draft, and the nation is at peace, the individual becomes a Chickenhawk First Class;

• If the there is a draft, and the nation is at war, the individual becomes a Chickenhawk First Class with Distinguished Fleeing Cross.

We currently have 154 Chickenhawks listed in our database. Here they are, listed alphabetically. Click here to see them listed by date of birth.

Editing:  Jim W. Dean

 Spencer Abraham


The views expressed herein are the views of the author exclusively and not necessarily the views of VT, VT authors, affiliates, advertisers, sponsors, partners, technicians, or the Veterans Today Network and its assigns. LEGAL NOTICE - COMMENT POLICY

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29 Responses to "Ted Nugent and Romney – The “Cluck Cluck Gang,” America’s Biggest Chickens"

  1. JPaul  April 30, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    There’s only one thing wrong with that list…Jonah Goldberg isn’t on it.

  2. PallMall  April 24, 2012 at 12:10 am

    From Human Events Magazine (google it), January 2009, in the middle of the GAZA War. Mr Nugent folds all the available hasbara talking points into a great big article (you’ll notice that his opening edict is only allowed for one side.)

    Here are the opening paragraphs:

    “Israel’s Path To Peace
    by Ted Nugent 01/06/2009

    There comes a point when violence is clearly the only answer. Peace most often throughout history is achieved through the application of relentless and superior firepower. Now is such a time for Israel.

    Israel must defeat utterly the rabid, voodoo vermin known as Hamas. After launching more than three thousand rockets and mortars into Israel within the last year, Israel has every right and obligation to destroy Hamas. No nation can be expected to tolerate such a bombardment.

    Cease-fires and negotiations never last with terrorist scumpunks because evil, hateful terrorists do not want to live in peace: they worship violence and don’t see their opponents — be it us or the Israelis — as human beings. Hamas, Hizballah and other soulless people such as Iran’s Ahmadinijad apply vicious religious voodoo logic by believing killing non-Muslims, especially Jews, pleases Allah. Never forget these voodoo killers have vowed the complete destruction of Israel.”

  3. Mike Kay  April 23, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    Remember “The Great White Buffalo”, and Nuge with his super fast guitar? Now he says he’s ant-drug. Gee, didn’t one of those Amboy dukes LPs have a back shot of all kinds of smoking implements? Y’know, the ones not for tobacco? And here he admits to snorting whatever it was. Wonder how honest his anti-drug stance is.
    Remember Nuge getting interviewed, he was taking a month off in Alaska. Figured he had lots of cash, heading out with a months supplies, dropped off alone in the wild. Never knew if it was true, but if so, thought it was pretty much paradise. “Cave man of Rock”.
    Never once recall him speaking in regular language, it was all some kind of crazed hype speak. An entertainer, after all. For a long time he was gone.
    Now he comes back. Nuge, you did not age well. Where you were wild and crazy, and kind of fun you now expect to be taken seriously, and when you are, you make an idiot of yourself. C’mon, man-endorsing MR as your NRA candidate? I realize most Americans don’t remember yesterday, but has everyone forgotten it was the Rom who signed the Mass AWB???????
    Biggest myth in the world is the story that Repubs will guarantee your gun rights. Dems will make a show of gun grabbing, to suit their electorate,and their fascist fantasies, but the R’s really stick the knife in and twist every chance they get.
    Hell, it only makes sense, take away the weapons, it makes it so much easier to starve a compliant and propagandized population to death, to herd them into the FEMA camps, to tell them to dream of having a minimum wage no benefit job.
    Too bad Nuge didn’t just stay away when he had the chance. Read a few of his hunting stories posted on a now defunct online magazine. The dude could write. If it wasn’t true, it should’ve been. He could of had a nice retirement, fondly remembered. Now he’s shit in his own cup.

  4. arlenegilmore  April 23, 2012 at 2:07 pm

    Clinton did want to avoid the draft, but he went into the pool. He was pulled with a low number so wasn’t drafted to go to Vietnam. You had to have a high number to be sent to Vietnam.

  5. Derek X  April 23, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    You are right TJ, they are different, though it could be argued that most modern soldiers have been drafted by economics rather than the government. If Nugent still supported the war after his shenanigans, then my new-found respect for him would quickly evaporate.
    I wonder if these young kids understand what it is that they will encounter. I doubt it. What is the difference between bravery and stupidity, cowardice and intelligence? Duff is certainly brave, but he also appears to think obama is a swell guy.
    Though you have to admit, if he could really eat sht and not die, Nugent would have made a great Marine.

  6. jackedup  April 23, 2012 at 6:04 am

    Where’s Bill Clinton on the chickenhawk list? Only republicans GD? Seriously? You obviously still feel there’s a difference between republicans and democrats, please explain for those of us that can’t tell. While you’re at it, please explain the difference between Gambino and Genovese – TY

  7. DaveE  April 22, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    I suspect both motives were at work, but you do have a valid point.

  8. Charlotte NC Bill  April 22, 2012 at 11:55 am

    Did he stand up to our govt? Or did he just pull a cheesy, rather disgusting, childish stunt to get out of serving? And not because he believed that the conflict was none of our business and a waste of our country’s resources ( no, not at all ) but rather because he wanted to be a “f….n wild rock star dude”…

  9. DaveE  April 22, 2012 at 10:33 am

    I does seem a little inconsistent that so many here seem to resent the guy for standing up to our rotten government, even if they don’t approve of this methods.

  10. Derek X  April 22, 2012 at 9:55 am

    I never thought much of Nugent before, but after reading duffs article, I have become a beleiver of him (Nugent). Intelligent, with a flair of theater. At least Nugent doesn’t has to wrestle with PTSD because he was made to do things against his conscience, which may have haunted him till the day he died, and perhaps beyond.
    You should give the guy a standing ovation. Too bad so many of our best are getting screwed up in afganistan and iraq in illegal wars, too bad they bought the line and weren’t smart enough to shit themselves.
    If you are going to die, better it be for something you REALLY believe in. Otherwise, FTS.

  11. DaveE  April 22, 2012 at 9:52 am

    Thanks for the picture of Nugent…… I never realized what a “hook” nose he has. It’s all starting to make sense.

  12. Allesandro  April 22, 2012 at 7:57 am

    Just saw “Act Of Valor” at the movies. What a bunch of Horse-Shit.

    The Arabs are suppose to be a threat, with a few vests and some ceramic ball-bearings, that would make 9/11 seem like a walk in Central Park. When in fact it was the Jews that organized 9/11 and carried it out.

    It is laughable, if not so stupid. Trying to demonize the Arabs for 9/11 when a great number of Jews are on this list. It seems every Neo-Con that has been protected is on there.

  13. joesigur  April 22, 2012 at 7:22 am

    Has it come back to haunt them? No, cause the media protects its own!

  14. PAUL LEO FASO  April 22, 2012 at 6:25 am

    Thanks for the list.

    Which takes me directly into the Nugent and Romney political hookup, right out of comedy central. It is not bearable to listen to either clown speak on any subject.

    Romney, a Federal Reserve Bank Stooge of the highest order, states that Ben Bernanke and the Federal Reserve Bank are doing a good job, after looting the U.S.Treasury for over 100 years, bailing out their inside criminal enablers, then leaving the American people, broke with trillions of dollars in debt and finally, an austerity shit sandwich for a nice solid future.

    Moreover, to add insult to injury, Romney then self destructs by claiming that the first nation he will visit when he becomes President is Israel. Now there is a very confused man, not capable of seeing where the main source of America’s problems lie.

    Israel should be the last nation any American President visits. But it gets worse, up pops , Nugent, speaking on behalf of Romney and his ludicrous campaign to become the leader of the free world.

    Just when you think it must all be an accident, it becomes crystal clear;They are both totally pathetic, alone or together.

  15. Charlotte NC Bill  April 22, 2012 at 3:28 am

    The obvious answer: Max Boot and Bill Kristol are FAR worse…Clay never thought we belonged in Vietnam…Boot, Kristol, Podhoretz…those scumbags: 1. Wanted us there sooner…2. Know that Israel and the Bush Admin did 9-11 and called for it in there PNAC papers..3. But wanted us in Iraq and Afghan to kill Israel’s enemies, make their friends a lot of loot and other sordid ideological reasons…

  16. daquamarine  April 22, 2012 at 2:13 am

    I agree with you Gordon. Ali was a man of principle and paid the price for it. He never visited violence on another person who was not willing to get into a ring with him and knock him senseless. Getting into a boxing ring is not something a coward does.

  17. sickofitall  April 22, 2012 at 1:26 am

    How about a link to this video?

  18. dalethorn  April 21, 2012 at 11:48 pm

    I could be wrong on this, but here goes: I presume most of the people on this list had parents or uncles and aunts who served in WW2. And most of the people on the list were likely to be in important or public careers later in life.

    Did they all assume that evading service would not come back to haunt them, or might they have gotten the word from someone that it wouldn’t? I never thought about that sort of thing. My dad was Army infantry in the Pacific from 42 to 45 and I was Army from 66 to 69. Ditto my dad’s peers and mine.

    We weren’t part of the elite, and nobody suggested to us that we could just avoid service.

  19. Gordon Duff  April 21, 2012 at 10:52 pm

    I don’t remember any marine every saying anything about ali.

    He paid for standing up for his beliefs.

    he had our full support.

  20. dalethorn  April 21, 2012 at 10:29 pm

    Not my intent to portray Ali as a bad guy. My intent to show that Americans hated him then, think he’s a hero now.

  21. Gordon Duff  April 21, 2012 at 8:41 pm


    did ali cheerleader for war?

    your position is inane, ignorant and exposes a lack of paying attention

  22. Gordon Duff  April 21, 2012 at 8:40 pm

    chuck, during vietnam, spent time in the air force in korea….

    we know

  23. dalethorn  April 21, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    Almost everyone in America (and almost everyone was born well after Vietnam) does not remember Cassius Clay a.k.a. Muhammad Ali. They don’t remember the time he refused to go. They don’t remember the near-universal animosity toward him. All they remember is “the greatest” and his humble appearances on Sixty Minutes with Parkinson’s. A real American hero now. So Clay/Ali set the standard, and all these other scum followed suit. I suppose it’s really just a coincidence.

  24. Charlotte NC Bill  April 21, 2012 at 6:38 pm

    Bill Kristol, Max Doot and Joe Lieberman…oooh how I’d love to shove them out over Fallujah….And yes, they would get combat knives, a box of matches and a dead chicken….and that’s it.

  25. Charlotte NC Bill  April 21, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    Someone needs to school Chuck on who actually did 9-11…and would it matter?

  26. Ann  April 21, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    You left out Teddy, who outsmarted the army by spending his entire Korea tour in …. any guesses?

  27. Chris  April 21, 2012 at 5:07 pm

    Great article, but with all due respect, Chuck Norris isnt “Chuck Norris”. Hes a total “war on terror” kool aid drinking neocon cheerleader for endless war on muslims and American civil liberties in the name of “fighting terror”. Hes in the same class of useful idiot as Nugent as far as Im concerned.

    Also, not to play editor here, but you should at least watch the video of Nugent at a book signing getting punked out by a vet. He has a look of pure fear on his face but his goon security squad jumps in to save him.

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