Care for fallen troops a ‘sacred trust’

Veterans honored to maintain cemeteries for their comrades
by Mike Billington

Bob Vincent and Don Edginton stood with their heads bowed in silent prayer over a highly polished wooden casket.

A stiff breeze ruffled their shirts and hundreds of nearby red, white and blue flags.

Their prayers finished, they lowered the casket into the ground and began carefully filling in the grave.

“This is not just a job for us,” Vincent said. “It’s a sacred trust. We take it very personally.”

The men and women who care for Delaware’s deceased soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen at the state’s veterans cemeteries in Millsboro and near the Chesapeake & Delaware Canal take their jobs personally. Veterans themselves, they spend hours in the hot sun, or in the rain, or in the cold of winter carefully tending to the last resting places of those who have answered their final roll calls…

“The weather is really insignificant to us,” said Vincent, a former Navy soldier who was attached to a Marine unit in Vietnam. “We’re here to provide the most peaceful, the most tranquil place we can for those who have died and for those who come to visit them.”

Jennifer Gabriele, who served eight years on active duty in the Army, agreed.

“This is the last thing that we can do for our fellow veterans,” she said. “We take a lot of pride in taking care of our own.”

‘A sense of camaraderie’

Gabriele, 40, climbed down from the cab of a Bobcat earthmover and stood watching four men preparing a grave site on a sunny spring morning. Inside the nearby chapel at the Summit Bridge-area cemetery, a group of somber men and women in dark suits and dark dresses paid their last respects to a man who served in World War II.

Once the family and friends of the deceased had gone, Gabriele and the other members of the staff gently moved the casket from inside the chapel to the grave site and then carefully eased it into the ground.

“We have a sense of camaraderie with these veterans,” Gabriele said. “It doesn’t matter if they served in World War II or Korea, Vietnam or Iraq. They are fellow veterans and they are our comrades in arms.”

It’s a feeling that Edginton, 58, and Vincent, 60, share.

“It’s not easy to explain to someone who hasn’t been in the service,” said Vincent, who was with a Marine unit at the siege of Khe Sanh during Vietnam, “but there is a sense of comradeship that you feel with these men and women. You know what they’ve done, what they’ve been through.”

Death is no stranger to either man. As a Navy soldier, Vincent braved rifle fire and rockets to tend wounded and dying Marines. Edginton was aboard the USS Forrestal off the coast of Vietnam when a rocket accidentally discharged, slammed into a fuel tank, exploded, and started a fire that raged across her decks on July 19, 1967. That day 132 men died.

“Knowing what we know, having seen what we have seen, I think we all consider it an honor to work here at these cemeteries,” Edginton said.

Edginton walked toward the Millsboro cemetery’s administration building late one morning, stopped, bent at the waist and picked up a small piece of paper lying on the perfectly trimmed grass.

Carrying it inside the building, he dropped it into a waste basket. It was a small thing, just a piece of paper, but it shouldn’t have been there and so he picked it up. Later, he would bend again and pluck a cellophane wrapper from the ground.

“We have a variety of duties,” he said. “If there are no burials scheduled, there is always grass to cut, flowers that need to be attended to, irrigation work that needs to be done.”

A former Milford police officer who later worked for the U.S. Postal Service, he said he truly enjoys the work.

“This is a special place and it’s our job to keep it special for those who come here,” he said.

A worthwhile job

Gabriele said she also enjoys her job, although it can be painful at times.

“You spend all day in the hot sun with a Weed Whacker or you spend a day outside in the bitter cold digging a grave and you know you’ve done a day’s work,” she said.

Pushing a ball cap back from her tanned forehead, she said that despite the aching muscles and the vagaries of the weather, she likes working outdoors.

She also likes talking to the people who visit the cemetery.

“A lot of them come alone and they just want to talk to someone,” she said. “We’re always ready to spend time with them, as long as they need.”

She has spoken several times to a French woman, for example, whose husband is buried at the Summit Bridge-area cemetery. He deserted from the German army and, after making his way to America, joined the U.S. Army. The woman, who ran a French underground cell during the war, helped him escape and get to the United States.

“The people who come here have seen so much history, made history in fact,” she said. “Hearing their stories and what they’ve done in their lives makes my hair stand on end sometimes. They have such wonderful stories of courage, and love, and devotion.”

Some of those who come break down, she said. It’s important that she or other staff members be there to help.

“And sometimes you cry right along with them, but that’s all right because they know they aren’t alone,” she said. “That’s why this job is so important. What we do touches the lives of entire families and we have to do it right because of that.”

Many of the funeral services, especially for those who served in World War II, are not sad affairs, she said. That surprised her a little at first.

“But it makes sense. A lot of the time, the people who come here for the services are actually celebrating the lives of those who have died,” she said.

“These were people who served their country and who then lived long, productive lives. They loved and were loved. A lot of those who come to the services here are genuinely proud of what their father or grandfather did for his country and they show it,” she said.

Volunteers play a role

The cemetery near Summit Bridge plays host to hundreds of volunteers who come to pull weeds, place flags, tend to flowers and generally help out.

“I think people like coming here to help out because it’s a beautiful place and it’s very peaceful. They know the work they do here has an impact on others,” Gabriele said.

“I love the volunteers who come,” she added. “Many of them come because they have family here but we also have Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts and other groups that come.”

Her own children volunteer during the summer months, she said.

“Amber and Vincent clean the bathrooms and do a lot of other work around here,” Gabriele said. “It’s nice to have them here with me and it’s nice because now they really appreciate just how hard the work is.”

Gabriele said she is always impressed with the young people who volunteer and how respectful they are of veterans.

“They know that they’ve fought for them,” she said, “and they understand that their lives would be totally different if the vets hadn’t made the sacrifices they made for this country.”

‘We’ve buried friends’

Among the dead at the Millsboro cemetery are two former employees and several members of the honor guards from various veterans organizations.

“We’ve buried friends as well as people we don’t know,” said J.J. Jones, director of the Millsboro cemetery. “We take care of them all the same way.”

Jones, a former Marine who served in Vietnam, takes care of the administrative duties at the Millsboro cemetery just as Estelle Tucker does at Summit Bridge. Both pay close attention to the myriad details that surround any funeral.

“We’re here to assist the families in any way that we can,” Jones said. “It’s a difficult time for them and we want to make everything go as smoothly as possible.”

Edginton said that is a top priority, but it’s not the only one.

He and Vincent both said they are committed to keeping the memories of those who served alive.

“We can’t forget them and what they did,” Edginton said, “just because they’ve died.”