Questions and Answers: Views From Veterans

By NYT-The Editors

Q: Has your view of the rest of the world changed as a result of your experiences?

LEE KELLEY: Yes, my war experience changed my view of the world. I empathize now with a country that I might never have visited. I have a better grasp of the chaos and horror of war, and I appreciate life much more than I did before I went.

Q: Do you think the views of other people (from other countries) about the United States has changed as a result of the “war on terror”?

BRIAN TURNER: As I walked out of a pub in Ireland last Spring, a guy sitting at an outside table said (with that thick Irish brogue), “So, you voted for Bush, did ya?” My girl Michelle was with me and she said, “Yes; I did,” to which he replied, “Finally — someone honest; I knew somebody in America had to vote for him.” We stayed and talked to him for another hour and a half, becoming friends in the process. I’ve traveled to a few other countries since my time in the military and I have to say, from my own personal experience, that much of the world holds a dim view of America right now, especially in terms of policy and leadership. If you think I’m wrong, but you haven’t been out of the country for a while, then I urge you to travel and see for yourself. My own view is that America’s diplomatic corps may have a couple of decades of hard work to do (repairing friendships with countries and organizations abroad).

Q: Overall, looking back on your military service, do you consider it to have had a positive impact on your life?

LEE KELLEY: Yes. It had huge positive impacts on my life, many of which I’m still figuring out.

Q: Has your view of the rest of the world changed as a result of your experiences?

LEE KELLEY: Yes, my war experience changed my view of the world. I empathize now with a country that I might never have visited. I have a better grasp of the chaos and horror of war, and I appreciate life much more than I did before I went.

Q: Do you think the views of other people (from other countries) about the United States has changed as a result of the “war on terror”?

BRIAN TURNER: As I walked out of a pub in Ireland last Spring, a guy sitting at an outside table said (with that thick Irish brogue), “So, you voted for Bush, did ya?” My girl Michelle was with me and she said, “Yes; I did,” to which he replied, “Finally — someone honest; I knew somebody in America had to vote for him.” We stayed and talked to him for another hour and a half, becoming friends in the process. I’ve traveled to a few other countries since my time in the military and I have to say, from my own personal experience, that much of the world holds a dim view of America right now, especially in terms of policy and leadership. If you think I’m wrong, but you haven’t been out of the country for a while, then I urge you to travel and see for yourself. My own view is that America’s diplomatic corps may have a couple of decades of hard work to do (repairing friendships with countries and organizations abroad).

Q: Overall, looking back on your military service, do you consider it to have had a positive impact on your life?

LEE KELLEY: Yes. It had huge positive impacts on my life, many of which I’m still figuring out.

SANDI AUSTIN: Yes. I remember the thought that ran through my head over and over as I lay on the top bunk the first night of basic training, “What did I do?” Within six months my question was answered, I was on a plane from New York to California. I was headed to Monterey to study Arabic. Hard to believe I was going to get paid to learn in such a beautiful environment. It was the military that brought me out West where I have found my place. I love the energy, the ocean, and the lifestyle found on the west coast.

I feel that my time in the military has led me down a path of self development. Throughout my six years of service I discovered new strengths, new weaknesses, what fills me with joy, and what fills me with fear. I have met wonderful people from all walks of life, friends that will stay in my life as long as it lasts. Having served in a war zone, I saw first hand how short life can be, and now know the importance of taking the time you do have to enjoy your life and those in it.

Q: Are we doing the right thing in Iraq? Should we continue?

MICHAEL JERNIGAN: I believe that we are doing the right thing by giving the Iraqis their freedom. That said, I am tired of going to the funerals of my friends and sometimes ask myself if it was worth it. I have suffered horribly because of all that has happened but I still thank the Lord for every day he gave me in the Corps.

Q: In your opinion what is the real reason we went to and still are in Iraq?

JEFFREY BARNETT: In my opinion we went into Iraq for the right reasons. I believe that our leaders believed they were doing the right thing for the right reasons. However, I believe that the war has now become the single largest political tool in our country, and neither party is willing to concede its position. I think we are still in Iraq because President Bush is unwilling to deal with the consequences of a more hasty withdrawal. The consequences would be admitting that we need to change our strategy, republicans having to face an assault in 2008 after a withdrawal would “prove” the point of democrats, relinquishing our strategic position in the area, and facing criticism of leaving Iraq in shambles. I don’t think any of these reasons, perceived or real, are worth more American lives.

Q: Are we mature enough as a country to thank those who risk their lives on our behalf while voicing our outrage at the actions of the politicians who put them in harm’s way?

MICHAEL JERNIGAN: To people who support the troops but not the war — that is your right. But remember there was someone holding a gun who fought so you can have that right. It is tough for me to smile when someone tells me that they support our troops but feel the war is wrong. I stand there and smile and say, “Thank you for sharing your feelings.” I think people say that because it makes them feel better to say it, but they really mean, “Thank you for your service, but really you are an idiot for following that insane president.” It makes me feel belittled. I do not want to hear it. I was a corporal in the United States Marine Corps and I do not make policy so save it for your congressman.

SANDI AUSTIN: For the most part I feel that the majority of anti-war activists focus on our political leaders and not the soldiers. Driving by the anti-war protests I usually see signs the relay messages in support of the troops, but opposing the cause. Perhaps if I still wore a uniform I would feel differently, I might get glares or comments, but because I too am a civilian, I haven’t faced any hostility or felt unappreciated on a regular basis.

Q: Do you think going to war with Iran is needed?

JEFFREY BARNETT: Nope. I haven’t seen them point any weapons at us, so I am unsure what a war with Iran would accomplish. If we decide to go to war with everyone that doesn’t like us then we’ve got a long list. I don’t care if they develop nuclear technology. Who are we to tell someone they can’t do the same things we do? However, the first time they attack us or show that an attack is imminent I support returning them to the Bronze Age.

Q: Would the military be able to sustain wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Iran at the same time?

JEFFREY BARNETT: Not a chance in hell. The military is already overextended. The Army is already doing 12-18 month deployments. Most Marines do 7-month deployments, but many at higher levels stay for 12 months. Without increases in manpower, through whatever means, we cannot conduct another major theater war. Remember that comes from a lieutenant, not a lieutenant general, so take it for what it’s worth.

Q: Do you face the type of hostility some Vietnam veterans faced in the 1970s?

JEFFREY BARNETT: Everyone I have met in person is universally supportive of military service members, regardless of their position on the war. I have not encountered any inkling of the hostility that Vietnam veterans faced. On my personal blog I’ve been accused of being “duped” for serving and signing up to be “cannon fodder,” but I have never encountered someone willing to be that confrontational in person. Keyboards are often like alcohol: instant courage.

SANDI AUSTIN: Actually, there is one negative experience that sticks with me. Upon returning from Iraq, I went back to the local state university to finish my degree. I enrolled in a class titled History of Globalization. The majority of the semester focused on the negative acts of imperialism by the U.S., the negative effects of globalization, and means to localize our lifestyles. One Wednesday evening we were discussing nationality which led to a discussion of our presence in Iraq. In this class 19- and 20-year-old students stood up and said they did not want to be called Americans, nor did they consider themselves American. They then spewed their reasons why, the majority of which were revolving around our presence in Iraq. I had only been home and out of the military for three months, and never expected to see or hear people from my nation bashing America. I was able to understand why the Iraqis yelled and glared as we sped down their streets with our weapons pointed out the windows. But I was unable to find justification for the hatred coming from the mouths of these privileged students. I stood up and said my piece to the class, explained how lucky we are to live in a nation that offers so many freedoms, and with a heartfelt tear I walked out. That was the first time I felt like an outsider, like I was the enemy for having been on the ground for a year.

Q: Why do the members of the military overwhelmingly continue to support Republicans after their inept management of the war and mostly total disregard of the needs of returning veterans?

JEFFREY BARNETT: I can only speak for myself. I don’t support a party. I support those who share my values. Traditionally, that has been Republicans. However, they have proven to me that they are no longer the party of limited government and Constitutional freedom, so I now call myself a libertarian. I agree this war has been mismanaged in a few respects. However, I don’t blame Republicans — I blame the individuals responsible. There are great and poor leaders in every party, however, no party is willing to stop slinging mud in order to get things done. No party will unite with the other on even the simplest topics. Each splits hairs until something that is traditionally partisan is found, and then lines are drawn. Democrats are no less to blame than Republicans for this despicable behavior. The two-party system is killing our country. Think about that for a moment, isn’t it a ridiculous idea that you can consolidate every popular and beneficial way of thinking in America into just two groups?

Q: How frustrating is it that the majority of American combat deaths have been as a result of I.E.D.s? By that I mean, Do soldiers, marines, sailors and airmen feel they are being killed sitting down?

MICHAEL JERNIGAN: It is very frustrating dealing with I.E.D.s but that is the way these cowards fight. I was trained to fight an enemy that is there not three blocks away with a cell phone calling a detonation.

JEFFREY BARNETT: I.E.D.s are indeed terribly frustrating. In my experience, the frustration didn’t come from the idea of “dying sitting down” but that you didn’t get to offer your aggressor the same opportunity.

Q: Who is killing United States military personnel in Iraq? It’s Iraqis, correct? Not these couple of thousand foreign fighters?

MICHAEL JERNIGAN: As far as insurgents, when I was there in 2004 we encountered more foreign fighters than Iraqis. It is three years later and I have not gone back for a vacation but I would hazard to say if there are more Iraqis involved in the violent attacks that it is probably stemming from the growing civil problems that the different sects are having.

JEFFREY BARNETT: The short answer is that I don’t know. The people who attacked me were generally thought to be criminals out to make a few dollars by conducting insurgent activities. No Islamic fundamentalist ever attacked me, to my knowledge. Guys who saw a way to profit from the insurgency were our primary aggressors.

Q: Is your view of “the media” positive or negative?

LEE KELLEY: My view of the media is generally negative. I believe there are exceptions, that there are talented, genuine stories being done by talented and dedicated journalists. But for the most part, I’m unimpressed and shocked at how poor and one-sided the media spin can be.

BRIAN TURNER: It’s true that many of the “positive” stories happening in Iraq don’t make the news. We rarely hear or read of them. We often seem to only get the trauma, the numbers killed, the numbers wounded. Let me ask you this, though — if a new roof were finished on the elementary school a block from your house while, simultaneously, a car bomb exploded the next street over from where you live, what’s more important to you? It’s human nature that reporters bring us the bombs and the fighting before bringing the “positive” stories. If we get angry because the “positive” stories aren’t being reported, then I think we also have to be angered by what is reported. That is — why can we not see the flag-draped coffins as they come home to us? Who decided that it was disrespectful, that it made a spectacle of these brave Americans who have given their lives in service to our country? If I had died while in uniform, and I could have, I would not have felt it disrespectful. In fact, just the opposite can be argued. War is not sterile. We should be angered by news reports that simply tells us that a bomb blew up in a market in some exotic-sounding city in Iraq and that 13 people died and 28 were wounded. Why? Because the numbers, over time, numb us. They are abstractions of humanity. We need the human content. We need to know their names and to know more about their families, their lives.

Q: When you were in Iraq, how was the food? What about toilet facilities and sleeping quarters? Is there decent entertainment available?

BRIAN TURNER: When I was a boy, my Dad used to bring c-rats home and we often ate them when camping. When I joined the service myself, I remembered those c-rats and thought — Wow, we have it so-o-o-o-o-o good. M.R.E.s (Meals Ready to Eat) are great. And the food in the chow halls overseas, especially now that bases are built up, is great. Food, toilet facilities and sleeping quarters vary, though, so this isn’t an easy question to answer.

SANDI AUSTIN: During my stay in Iraq I experienced three levels of food: “not so bad”, “at least it’s hot”, and “pretty good.” First we ate M.R.E.s (Meals Ready to Eat). These brown bagged treasures aren’t that bad once you figure out which meals to avoid and how to spice the others up. I discovered that the jalapeño cheddar packet, really does make everything better! When we settled into an undeveloped camp east of Baghdad, called Pacesetter, we had one hot meal a day. These hot meals are generally mushy and lack flavor but overall are a step up from the monotony of the M.R.E. The third phase of food was heavenly compared to the other two. At Camp Freedom we had a buffet everyday, ate off of real plates with silverware, in a well lit, clean dining room

I spent three months living in a crowded tent with about 30 women. All of my possessions, cot included were set on a piece of 4 ft. by 6 ft. plywood. The wood kept most of the dirt and water off my belongings. During this time we used port-a-pottys and showered once every three days in tent showers. There were certain hours for men and others for women. It didn’t matter what time of day you had your shower you could usually count on the water being cold.

The living conditions improved immensely when we moved north to Camp Freedom.

As far as entertainment, we did get Miss America and Geraldo to come visit. As you can imagine Ticketmaster didn’t sell out those events. Other than that there was a gym and a game room with a pool table and foosball table. For my own entertainment I played guitar, listened to my iPod, hung out with friends, and played a lot of volleyball.

Q: What were your reasons for getting out?

SANDI AUSTIN: My number one reason for getting out of the Army was that I wanted to have complete control of my life. Trust me, there are numerous benefits to being in the military, and at times I have considered going back, but the one that is missing is complete freedom. You will find that although the majority of the time it is just a job, and your life is not much different than your civilian friends, you are always being accounted for.

I also felt that I wanted to settle, I wanted to ensure that I was going to be in one place long enough to finish school. I also wanted to start a family, and to do this I wanted to know that I wasn’t going to have to deploy.

With or without the experience of being in Iraq, or the continuation of the war, I would have completed my six years and left the military.

JEFFREY BARNETT: I separated from the Marine Corps because the life I lead as a civilian is more consistent with my life’s goals in the areas of family, friends, and profession. I did not want to begin a family and have to continually relocate. Being around family and friends is also important to both me and my wife. Of course we had many great friends in the Marine Corps, and we still remain in contact with several of them, but moving every few years just makes it too difficult to maintain lasting social contacts.

Lastly, I prefer the environment of open competition and intellectual stimulation that my civilian profession of engineering provides. The Marine Corps challenged me in many ways, but I don’t think it challenged me in the ways I want to be challenged. I also do not like the military officer promotion system that is heavily tied to time served rather than performance. I wasn’t willing to serve eight years before I could start distinguishing myself from my peers. I’m perfectly willing to accept the possibility of failure, but I saw the military promotion system as not really letting me compete. In the civilian world I am only limited by my proficiency.

Q: Any ideas for things that we can do as individuals to show our support for the troops in the field that really work? (I’m pretty sure yellow ribbon magnets aren’t that effective on the ground in Iraq.)

LEE KELLEY: Yes, troops love and appreciate care packages. These can be snacks, personal hygiene items, movies, books, music, etc. I always appreciated it when people would include a personalized note and maybe a picture of their family. It made me feel closer to home, and that fellow citizens were concerned for me.

BRIAN TURNER: I’m a big fan of www.booksforsoldiers.com. (I received books from other kind Americans while I was deployed to Iraq.) I’m also a fan of www.soldiersangels.com. (They adopted me as one of their soldiers and incredibly kind and caring people from many parts of America sent packages and more to me and the soldiers I served with.)

Q: What do we need to be doing to make sure that troops have the access they need to effective services, and that they use them?

BRIAN TURNER: Our entire culture, and especially the culture within the military, needs to accept the fact that normal human beings often come back from wartime experiences with psychological issues that need to be addressed and considered. There is a growing understanding of this both within the military and in the civilian world. However, in the military there is still a widespread stigma attached to the idea of admitting a need for psychological help. It is still considered by many as a sign of weakness. Ironically, stuffing our experiences in a box and never allowing it to be opened again (a common practice which is often admired, embodied in the common phrase, “Suck it up and drive on”) can have debilitating effects which last for decades, with the signature signs of PTSD manifesting themselves in our relationships and in our professional lives. Military professionals need to realize that it is actually a sign of strength to admit and recognize problems within the psyche. Dealing with these problems is a step toward growth within the individual. It is a sign of strength. It should be encouraged.

Q: (From Brian Turner) What projects do you have on the horizon? What do you hope to do?

LEE KELLEY: I’m actually working on three books, two of which are almost complete. One is a collection of essays and prose about my time in Iraq. The next is the authorized biography of an Army Brigadier General. And the third is my first novel. I hope to someday write for a living instead of punching a clock.

SANDI AUSTIN: Hi Brian… Thought I should start by saying great posts! As far as projects on the horizon for me, giving birth is number one. I do have ideas for a series of children’s books that I plan to start on in the near future.

Q: What would most help [military families] get through deployments, and help assure that marriages survive this very stressful experience?

LEE KELLEY: Shorter deployments for National Guard families. A strong sense of duty and partnership in the marriage before you leave. These can all help, but nothing can assure that marriages survive. If they are not strong, they may fail.

Q: What memory stands out most from Iraq?

LEE KELLEY: The day I arrived and the day I left.

SANDI AUSTIN: One great memory was flying in a Blackhawk with the governor from Mosul to Baghdad. I sat in the outside seat looking out over the vast, often empty land. At first it was like being on a roller coaster, the nervousness you feel from not being in control, but then the fear disappeared and the feeling was extremely liberating.

Q: What music did you listen to in Iraq?

SANDI AUSTIN: I brought my iPod with me so I had all my favorites; Dave Matthews Band, Pearl Jam, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Grateful Dead, Doobie Brothers, Sublime, Jack Johnson, Ben Harper, and the list goes on and on. While in Iraq I was introduced to the greatest musical performance of the 1970s, “The Last Waltz,” Martin Scorsese’s documentary of the last performance by The Band. My friends and I watched/listened to that film at least 60 times. Although we all live states apart, we actually got together in New Orleans last year and had a Last Waltz reunion!

LEE KELLEY: A vast eclectic mix.

Q: What do you listen to now?

LEE KELLEY: A vast eclectic mix

SANDI AUSTIN: I’m still listening to the same genre of music. I love to get out and hear local bands as well.

Q: Are you optimistic about your future?

LEE KELLEY: Absolutely. More than ever before.

SANDI AUSTIN: I am extremely optimistic about my future. I live in a beautiful place, Monterey, Calif. I am surrounded by supportive friends and family, share an incredible love with my boyfriend and have a beautiful baby girl growing inside of me. I can only imagine the great experiences that are to come.

I will always open the door when opportunity knocks.

Q: Is there a method worked out that allows Mr. Jernigan to read responses to his posts?

MICHAEL JERNIGAN: I have a computer that a software program called JAWS. It stands for Job Access With Speech and it allows me to navigate a computer as well as any sighted person.

Q: What do you feel you’ve gained from the experience of writing about your own experiences, in a public forum here, with all the feedback and such?

LEE KELLEY: Writing about personal experiences in a public forum such as a blog has been quite an interesting experience for me because I’ve always fancied myself a fiction writer. I still do. While there are many things in my journal I would never share with a stranger, I found that I was willing to share a lot, and it felt good. The feedback and support I’ve received have been an inspiration.

MICHAEL JERNIGAN: Writing about what I have experienced since I have returned has given me a great feeling of accomplishment. I look back to where I was when I hit that hospital for the first time and then see were I am now and can not believe myself. I have enjoyed the whole thing and have started using the writing skills to help me deal with some of my frustrations. It has been therapeutic.

JEFFREY BARNETT: I have discovered many things through my personal blog and Home Fires. On the bright side, there appears to be a sea of people who support those who serve in our military and respect my opinions, regardless of their personal position on the subject.

On the not so bright side, it appears that the ability of the populace to respectfully disagree is not gaining ground in America. My editor on Home Fires does a good job of weeding out the more fanatical comments, but my personal blog is open to anyone, and the crazies seem to really like to manifest themselves there. It appears that many people absolutely do not care about anything else except that your opinions align with their personal preferences and opinions. For example, in a tongue-in-cheek piece I wrote about cheerleading on my personal blog, one gentleman replied “Now I see why they call you Jarheads. Why don’t you write about Jarheads?” All he cares to learn about me is that I poke fun at cheerleading, and because his daughter is a cheerleader he thinks I am a dumb marine who should stick to writing about dumb marines. I see the same situation amplified when writing about politics. Some people believe that if you don’t agree with them then you are in idiot — end of story. Unfortunately, this vocal minority is the most likely group to comment on blogs. Continued blogging has taught me to try to ignore this sad state of affairs, and accept it as fact, even thought I admit that sometimes it discourages me from writing at all.

Q: Would you volunteer to return to Iraq?

BRIAN TURNER: I hope, one day, to be able to work with writers and artists in Iraq, to collaborate with them on artistic projects. I would volunteer for that. Just as we need to care for our soldiers who return home with PTSD (and I am working with the National Endowment of the Arts to create a project to do just that), the Iraqi population has a dire need for mental health workers and services for psychological traumas brought about by the war. If one day I might be able to help them in this area, I would volunteer for that, also.

However, if the question is whether I would volunteer to pick up a rifle and return to the war in Iraq, then my answer is an unequivocal and emphatic, NO.

MICHAEL JERNIGAN: Yes, I would volunteer to go back if they would let me but unfortunately that is not the case.

SANDI AUSTIN: No, I would not volunteer to return to Iraq. Perhaps they are selfish reasons, but I honestly have no desire to leave my family, friends, and freedoms again. I feel fortunate to live in a nation where I can drive downtown without the fear of something blowing up. I also enjoy having the choice to come and go as I please.

LEE KELLEY: No. I personally won’t leave my kids again if I can help it.

Q: What would you say to a young person who is thinking about joining the military?

LEE KELLEY: Do not tread lightly into the realm of military service. It is not a game. Yes, you will learn a lot. You will enjoy a sense of fulfillment. But like everything else in life, and even more so if you go to war, you will change. That is an absolute. And you may not like the changes.

SANDI AUSTIN: I would tell her “Never volunteer when the drill sergeant asks for a volunteer. It usually means you are going to clean something not so fun!” Seriously, I would tell her that if she is open to it, she will have a good time in the military; there are a lot of great people to meet, skills to learn, and experiences to be shared. I would let her know that there is nothing to be afraid of. She will always have food on her plate, a roof of some sort over her head, supportive people surrounding her, and a paycheck in the bank.

One last thing, I would say is, “Have fun at the firing range. It’s not everyday that you get to fire an M-16, M-249 or grenade launcher!”

MICHAEL JERNIGAN: I would tell any young people thinking about military service that there is no better way to serve your country. I would tell them to first ask themselves a few questions. 1. Do you like being told what to do? Can you follow an order? 2. How do you feel about war? Is it O.K. with you as long as it for good reason? 3. Do you love the creature comforts that civilian life affords so much that you are not willing to part with them? There were times when I had nothing but a book and the bare necessities to survive. 4. Do you like to dig holes in the ground? — because there is a lot of digging.