May 30th is Military Sexual Trauma Awareness Day


Military Sexual Trauma Awareness Day

May 30th is Military Sexual Trauma Awareness Day(

I believe that my rapist left me a gift beyond the pitiful attempt at showing his manhood beyond the night terrors, flashbacks, triggers,hyper-vigilance to name a few.  The rapist infected me with HPV or human papilloma virus.  HPV is a virus that is slow growing.  HPV sits in the gynecological tract and waits until the conditions are right for it to mature and stain the cervix with it’s awful cell destruction.  Without proper, early detection HPV becomes a monster that mutates and gestates into precancer.  The cancer usually strikes on the cervix and from there the game is on.  A PAP smear is one of the best ways to catch this disease.  Testing,x-rays, and other tests that they invented during the Spanish Inquisition come when they want to find out where it is in the gyn tract.  Has it spread?  Is a hysterctomy necessary?  I was dealing with all of these questions when the XO of the task force wanted to know where I had been when I didn’t call him back when he rang.  That’s when I revealled my cervical cancer.  Surprisingly after my CO found out about my cancer, my keep up tour money ran out.  So I was stuck with nothing.  Railroaded out of a job and benefits in which I was entitled to, I was alone.  And stuck in a situation where no one believed me.   The shame and guilt I felt for having this disease was horrible.  At that time, I couldn’t even conceptionalize that the rapist had done this to me but the doctors tell me it adds up.

So I am constantly, aware of my Military Sexual Trauma.  I wished it was just for one day that I could think about it and move on.  But I can’t .  It is what it is.  What I can do is work for organizations such as the National Cervical Cancer Coalition.  With this organization, I bring awareness and understanding.  I, also, stand tall and tell women there is no shame in this disease only misinformation and miscommunication.

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