The 7th stage of relationship is singing your own authentic song from a place of celebration and service and in so doing we begin to realize that we are part of something infinitely larger than ourselves ~ a loving plan in action. Our whole life is apparently a quest to find our own true song and only through love can we find it for love not only totalizes human energy but also individualizes it within a constantly evolving loving plan in action ~ which is also God:
It was Teilhard de Chardin who wrote “Considered in its full biological reality, love ~ that is to say, the affinity of being with being ~ is not peculiar to man. It is a general property of all life and as such it embraces, in its variety of degrees, all the forms successively adopted by organized matter.”
Teilhard also correctly wrote ” If there were no real propensity to unite, even at a prodigiously rudimentary level, indeed, in the molecule itself, it would be physically impossible for love to appear higher up in the human form”
Teilhard defined this innate urge to unite as an energy force in his famous Law of Complexity-Consciousness. The Law states two principles:
1. Throughout all time there has been an evolutionary tendency for all matter to unite and become increasingly complex in nature.
2. With each increase in material complexity, there is a related rise in the consciousness of matter and an even greater urge to unite. ( my bolded emphasis )
Teilhard divided this fundamental energy into two distinct components ~ a Tangential energy which linked the element with all others of the same order and a Radial energy which represented the innate urge toward union and greater complexity as well as a leap in consciousness.
It is this Radial energy in matter, this deep urge towards union and completion, which eventually manifests itself as LOVE.
As such, Teilhard’s Radial energy is one in the same with what I call a state of Soul Consciousness and The Unified Field. A state of love and soul consciousness that exists not only beyond time and space but also deepest within ourselves ~ and whose principle property is the universal urge to unite.
If we compare this with Darwin’s evolutionary theory, Darwin’s only error was to substitute matter for spirit as the motivating force of the Universe.
For it becomes increasingly clear, in light of this innate urge to unite, that man is the product of an evolution of love. From the pre-atomic stage in the depths of the primordial sea to his present ‘ humanized ‘ state ~ man is the product of a seemingly endless evolution within a loving plan of plurality, union and a resultant energy transformation into something more complex, more conscious and more loving.
Only the individual and collective state of ego consciousness (the need to control and dominate others) stands in the way of the awareness of not only a loving plan in action but each one of our parts in that loving plan.
And for each one of us to play our part in this loving plan in action, which is also God ~ we must first surrender to love.
That’s what my life quest clearly has been ~ to embrace a child within myself who clearly knew this truth and eventually, through opening my heart in relationship, not only find that lost child within myself but give him a voice, sing his song and realize at the same time that I’m part of something far greater than myself.
Every key love relationship in my life has played its part in helping me reach a place where I can finally fully live and share the truth of my Unified Field ~ The basic underlying and uniting force of the universe is a psychic energy field of love and soul consciousness ( the Unified Field ) which lies not only beyond time and space but also beneath our deepest fears and whose principle property is the universal urge to unite.
My work as a heart centered counselor with my clients concentrates on touching that lost child within themselves; helping them see their life as a quest as well as take accountability for their lives and the decisions they made to survive; and finally to empower that lost child to overcome their fears and sing their song.
There are seven stages of relationships and very few get beyond stage six which is ~
6. DOUBT, FEAR AND/OR JEALOUSY, ANGER AND RESENTMENT ” You’re going to hurt me or betray me like others have “
This is where Stendhal ended his six stages of love for this is the stage where most, if not all, emotional relationships end with mutual anger, resentment or fear submerging all traces of the original love. What we do not realize in this stage is that these feelings are often associated with earlier childhood or relationship hurts we felt with loved ones and we are face to face with the decisions we made at that time to repress and deny our deepest feelings ~ because there was seemingly no-one there for us. We can either run, as most people do, or go inside and go through these fears by not denying the love, taking accountability for these feelings and stop being a victim! You cannot escape stage six until you are willing to go inside, take total accountability for your actions and feelings and stop denying love. This takes great courage but the payoff is immense! Resentment doesn’t heal! Anger doesn’t heal! Only love truly heals!
It takes great courage to reach Roland’s seventh Stage of Relationship ~
7. ROLAND’S SECOND CRYSTALLIZATION ” I feel the beauty and perfection within myself and I’m sharing it with you and the world ”
This Stage cannot be accomplished unless we realize that our ultimate quest in life is to fully experience our authentic self and our connection to our original state of soul consciousness as well as our innate connection with source.
IT’S A PLACE OF INNER VALIDATION VERSUS THE NEED FOR OUTER VALIDATION !The path to the soul is always through doors of fear and most of those fears appear in relationship. You don’t realize those fears are illusions until you stop denying love and go through them. Only then can you truly claim the greatest gift ~ yourself.Only then can you become a fragment of life’s heart and transcend time and space in the process ~ for the hearts’ desire is to love so deeply that we become one with a Unified Field of love and soul consciousness as well as claim our part in an evolving loving plan and always from a place of inner celebration and delight.Each relationship is a step in that process of eventually returning to source and only by fully opening your heart and learning to consciously unconditionally love can you begin or accelerate that journey to truly find yourself.
The ultimate relationship, as such, is a spiritual relationship where both partners are on a common path, one through the other, to find and celebrate who they really are ~ using the love that exists between them as the vehicle.
Read Marina’s Story
Marina and her husband Steven live in Ireland and read my Book Radical Therapy / Surrender to love and heal yourself in seven sessions, not seven years . This is the Amazon Kindle book link:
In an act of service, Marina then volunteered to do the seven sessions on YouTube including an eighth session with her husband Steven which you can access by going to YouTube and then Allen Roland / Radical Therapy. Here is session eight with Marina and Steven who are about to enter the seventh stage of relationship.
- Radical Therapy Session Eight: Relationship is the True Test of Who You Really Are
- Radical Therapy Session Eight: Relationship is the …
Because of my service related disability of asbestosis from serving as a Naval Aviator on the USS Ranger in the far east in the early 1960’s ~ I am no longer in active private practice but instead, I am utilizing my PhD in spiritual psychology and continue to be in service as a spiritual consultant or mentor for counselors or anyone who has read my book, watched Marina’s counseling sessions on YouTube and wish not only to sing their own song ~ but also to find their part in a slowly evolving loving plan.
We are put on Earth a little space to bear the beams of love: William Blake
About the Author: Allen L Roland is a Freelance Alternative Press Online columnist. He is also a practicing psychotherapist, author and lecturer who also shares a daily political and social commentary on his web site at AllenRoland.com. He also guest hosts a Truthtalk, a national radio show that airs monthly. He is available for comments, interviews, speaking engagements and private consultations via email at [email protected].