David Whyte’s well of grief can be compared to a Black Hole in space but it’s deep within many who live in fear ~ but at its center is a point of convergence ~ a state of consciousness that lies beyond time and space ~ a Unified Field of love and soul consciousness whose principle property is the urge to unite ~ or as Longfellow once wrote ~ the thread of all sustaining beauty that runs through all and doth all unite: Allen L Roland, Ph.D
“We are put on Earth a little space to bear the beams of love” ~ William Blake
It’s not surprising that our lives are so inextricably bound with archetypal images of terror which we then project onto the world around us. For our entry into life is a traumatic passage through a black tunnel of fear ~ an experience of being inescapably drawn into and swallowed by a terrifying black hole that pulls us into another world !
The birth process itself evokes parallels with the near-death experience for we are entering into a another state of consciousness ~ and leaving an all unifying state of soul consciousness. We are all messengers of the soul or spiritual beings meant to eventually help the planet evolve by sharing the unique and human gift of ourselves with the world.
Picture yourself for a moment being drawn into a black hole in space and helplessly crushed by a force far greater than yourself ~ would it feel something like this?
“An intransigent force ~ wild and out of control ~
has gripped the infant.
A blind force that hammers at it and impels it
Overpowered, it huddles up as tightly at it can …
The walls close in further still. The cell becomes a
passageway; the passage, a tunnel.
With its heart bursting. the infant sinks into the hell.
Its fear is without limit …
The everything explodes!
The whole world bursts open.
No more tunnel, no prison, no monster.
The child is born.”
These are the words of Frederick Leboyer, the famous French pediatrician, describing the birth trauma.
Birth and death both represent archetypal passages from one state, or world, to another ~ and are therefore universally apt metaphors for spiritual and psychological transformation ~ as Elizabeth Kubler Ross shared in a People Magazine interview in 1975.
These metaphors also guide my own life process and my psychological work with clients in their transition from ego consciousness to soul consciousness. For example, both my original birth trauma and my carrier pilot Final Option experience on the South China Sea were life-or-death situations dealing with forces and events that seemed totally beyond my control.
Both times I fully experienced and surrendered to crushing sensations and overwhelming terror.
The instant I fully surrendered to being crushed, I discovered a fearless hidden source of strength or a Unified Field of soul consciousness guiding me through my fear and over to the “other side.”
Here’s a link to my article describing that moment on VT ~ as well as a link to my book on Kindle and my YouTube work with Marina in leading her through her deepest fear.
Time after time, people have told me from the depth of their despair that the pain that they are experiencing will never end, that they will never get out of that tunnel, and that they will surely die.
However, it is the ego that seemingly dies for it is no longer needed for protection and survival for we are now beginning to trust the feeling/intuitive-receptive guidance within us ~ we become a phoenix rising from the ashes.
Remember that the ego is a cocoon of consciousness born from the fear of what lies deepest within ourselves ~ and is based on the projection of what we feel we must be in order to be loved versus who we really are.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ five steps of the death process become eight steps as we enter the event horizon of ego death;
- Denial ~ Everything is fine, there is nothing missing in my life ~ I’m in control of everything.
- Anger ~ I can’t stay in control and manipulate things any more ~ it’s not working and making me mad.
- Bargaining ~ I’ll hang on to something so I won’t get out of control and get in touch with the unknown and all those scary feelings deep inside me.
- Depression ~ Why am I feeling so sad, and it seems to go so deep. If only I could get out of this pit of despair ~ this black hole within myself.
- Acceptance and connection ~ I’m feeling sad and it seems so familiar and goes back so far ~ I can’t deny these feelings any longer and now I’m connecting them to events in my childhood ~ it’s all beginning to make sense.
STAGE 5 IS THE EVENT HORIZON OF EGO DEATH
- Surrender ~ I’m completely letting go and surrendering to the moment ~ what is this joy and excitement I’m feeling beneath the sadness ~ and it doesn’t have anything to do with someone else ~ there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
- Celebration ~ I’m finally beginning to trust my deepest feelings and a growing sense that everything is going to be all right.
- Service ~ My heart is open, I’m coming from gratefulness and I’m seeing through different eyes and I’m also seeing that I have a part to play in this loving plan by just being myself ~ my self-respect is my guide.
It is the ego and our fears that peel away, like the layers of an union skin, when we fully surrender to love and let go through this experience of ego death ~ for the ego was always meant to be shed.
As such, the more we surrender to and trust our deepest feelings, the more powerful and urgent becomes the pull from within. And when we do this, we eventually come out on the “other side” and into a new life. a new way of being for we are indeed seeing through different eyes and our self-respect is once again our guide.
So the great surrender is also like a birth process.
I prefer to call it transmutation ~ for we are being transformed from one kind of human being into another and love is the vehicle for this passage.
Indeed, the butterfly of the authentic person has emerged from its own protective cocoon of fear.
The famous physicist Steven Hawking has suggested that Black Holes may become White Holes at a point of singularity.
Similarly, near-death experiences report a light at the end of a dark tunnel, while our birth through the “dark tunnel” of the womb delivers us to the light of this world
What I am suggesting is that at the end of that black hole of despair within us we reach a point of psychic singularity where all notions of time and space break down, we experience a reversal in the polarity of our being and we re-establish our conscious connection with the Unified Field as we return to our original state of love and soul consciousness.
In other words, the singularity at the center of a black hole , where time and space come to an end, parallels the singularity within each one of us that leads us from the darkness and despair into the brilliant light of the Unified Field of love and soul consciousness ~ that is the very essence of our being.
I would also argue that the force that pulls us through is that love, a force so strong that all conscious beings will eventually have to surrender to its magnetic pull.
It’s also Teilhard de Chardin’s famous Omega point ~ “It is necessary and sufficient for us that we should extend our science to its furthest limits and recognize and accept .. the radiation as a present reality of that mysterious center of our centers which I have called Omega”
Dr. Eben Alexander, in his bestselling book Proof of Heaven writes about his near death experience and says the same thing ~ in essence, it’s all about love;
Proof of Heaven, p. 71 ~ “If I had to boil this entire message down to one sentence, it would run this way: “You are loved.” And if I had to boil it down further, to just one word, it would (of course) be simply: Love. Love is without doubt, the basis of everything. Not some abstract, hard-to-fathom kind of love, but the day-to-day kind that everyone knows – the kind of love we feel when we look at our spouse and our children, or even our animals. In its purest and most powerful form, this love is not jealous or selfish, but unconditional. This is the reality of realities, the incomprehensibly glorious truth of truths that lives and breathes at the core of everything that exists or that ever will exist, and no remotely accurate understanding of who and what we are can be achieved by anyone who does not know it, and embody it in all of their actions. Not much of a scientific insight? Well, I beg to differ. I’m back from that place, and nothing could convince me that this is not only the single most important scientific truth as well.” See 3 minute video ~
David Whyte’s Well of Grief is the perfect poem for describing this transition ~
Those who will not slip beneath the still surface on the well of grief
turning downward through its black water
to the place we cannot breathe
will never know the source from which we drink,
the secret water, cold and clear,
nor find in the darkness glimmering
the small round coins
thrown by those who wished for something else.
~ David Whyte
from Where Many Rivers Meet ©2007 Many Rivers Press
And finally Derek Walcott’s poem love after love offers the perfect antidote ~ Feast on your Life.
The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door,
in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was yourself.
Give wine. Give bread.
Give back your heart to itself,
to the stranger who has loved you all your life,
whom you ignored for another,
who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit, Feast on your life.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross is correct when she wrote ” Death may be viewed as the curtain between the existence we are conscious of and one that is hidden from us until we raise the curtain .“
We can raise that curtain now if we stop being controlled by fear and begin to trust the love and the spring of joy that lies deepest within ourselves.
Teilhard de Chardin wrote on the last page of his personal journal three days before his death ~ “The last enemy that shall be destroyed is Death”
And in the Activation of Human Energy Teilhard wrote ~ “But how much more comforting and ‘electrifying’ for our efforts would it not be if some signal or some sign, some summons or some echo, should come to us from beyond death and give us positive assurance that some center of convergence does really exist ahead of us”
The NDE signs are numerous and obvious but the summons is calling all of us from within ~ so I am suggesting and demonstrating in my work that at the end of that black hole of despair within ourselves, we also reach a point of singularity, where all notions of time and space break down and we become one with the Unified Field of love and a joyful state of soul consciousness ~ and only our fear of death and the unknown stands in the way
Beneath the well of grief is indeed a spring of Joy ~ if we have the courage to drink from its cold and clear water.