"CONSERVACARE" HEALTH CARE BY MAGIC

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WITH 5 MILLION NEW UNINSURED FAMILIES JOINING THE MILLIONS

NEW ANSWERS WITH HOPE AND VISION

By Gordon Duff STAFF WRITER

Last week, I was contacted by a woman with a seriously ill child.  She has been terrified out of her mind by reports that the new Obama health plan is going to require that doctors euthenize (read: "kill") her critically ill son.  One of our writers almost reported her to the Secret Service for threats against the president until cooler heads prevailed.

Parents with sick kids should not be exploited by sick and pulstulant pigs grown fat on the stolen gains of the bloated blood suckers of the insurance and health care industry.  Let them stick to lying to malingering golfers, redneck bar flies and those bi-polar types that are all "down" and no "up."

Here is the "Conservacare" program: 

  • SPEND YOUR SAVINGS AND SELL EVERYTHING YOU OWN TO PAY DOCTORS
  • FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY
  • IF YOU ARE SICK, JUST SHOW UP AND MAKE THE EMERGENCY ROOM TREAT YOU FOR FREE

All that debate wasted.  The answer is simple.  No programs, no taxes, no complications.  Everything will be paid for by magic.

     

If only I were kidding.  This really is the program.  Hospitals simply bill paying patients more to make up for the losses from "Conservacare" walk-ins.  The genius and simplicity of "supply side" economics is amazing. 

Need your toe nails trimmed?  Show up at emergency.

Hangover?  Take a seat at emergency and see what 2 grand of tests and IVs can do.

I imagine Michael Steele and his brain trust sitting up all night working out what to tell the Tea Bag/Turf and Birther crowd, America’s lunatic fringe. 

Nothing really matters anymore, not veterans care, not idiotic wars nobody could ever win.  The only people in the whole world that matter are insurance company executives and their billions of dollars a year in bonuses.

Who needs a job, you can simply write yourself a bonus.  All you need is a checkbook and it doesn’t have to be yours. 

Homeless?  There are foreclosures everywhere and if you can’t find one of those, look for a nice place with folks on an extended vacation.  Simply break a window and move in.  Who knew life could be so simple.

If the police show up, simply tell them that Michael Steele has found a new brand of conservative self sufficiency. 

I like the way the Republican party is going.  Need food?  Get a big purse, a jacket with huge pockets and shop for free, the old fashioned way.  It worked for the barbarian hordes, it can work for you too.

You might ask, didn’t the insurance companies go bust and get bailed out with taxpayer funds?  Weren’t they the first to go? 

Isn’t it true that the insurance industry actually crashed the stock market and brought down banks because of their irresponsible fiscal policies?  Isn’t AIG an insurance company? 

I can assure you that there is no need to think about any of this.  Your head will hurt, your eyes will start to blurr and you will end up on a hard chair in an emergency room for 4 or 5 hours getting some of that magical free health care the old fashioned conservative way.

All you have to do is cheat, lie and steal.

Sounds like a plan to me.


Gordon Duff is a Marine combat veteran and regular contributor on political and social issues.gduff

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Gordon Duff posted articles on VT from 2008 to 2022. He is a Marine combat veteran of the Vietnam War. A disabled veteran, he worked on veterans and POW issues for decades. Gordon is an accredited diplomat and is generally accepted as one of the top global intelligence specialists. He manages the world's largest private intelligence organization and regularly consults with governments challenged by security issues. Duff has traveled extensively, is published around the world, and is a regular guest on TV and radio in more than "several" countries. He is also a trained chef, wine enthusiast, avid motorcyclist, and gunsmith specializing in historical weapons and restoration. Business experience and interests are in energy and defense technology.