The Same Old Monkey Bars

By Bob Higgins Staff Writer/Managing Editor

The chicken hawks of Fox and the GOP have beaten the drums incessantly in the last few days for a major troop increase in Afghanistan. One of their agreed upon talking points has been to attempt to make the case that if we leave, the dread al Qaeda will once again have a safe haven in which to set up training camps. For the last eight years whenever I hear the phrase “al Qaeda training camp” I look up at the television and there is the same old video. You know the one I mean, the video of 5 or 6 turbaned guys in black pajamas swinging hand over hand along twenty feet of monkey bars.

There have been other videos displayed, some more or less menacing and others bordering on comedy. But the “monkey bar video” has gotten the most air time by far. I saw it again this  afternoon, broadcast on one of the non Fox channels following the obligatory "al Qaeda training" sound bite from yet another pasty faced flag waving warmonger with a hatful of Lockheed or Boeing stock or contributions.

It struck me again that these clumsily swinging, PJ clad yard birds aren’t even carrying weapons. No packs, canteens, ammunition or other gear necessary for anything more threatening than a gymnastics meet.

I found myself wondering how the display of this nonsense ever instilled the kind of fear in the American populace that caused them to meekly give up their freedoms, their fundamental civil rights and fall in line behind a gang of yahoos who in a sane world, would be found in the loony bin, not in leadership positions.

We are, and have been for years, training, and equipping a potentially far more dangerous force, the Afghan army, some of whom have already turned their weapons on our troops. We spent a great deal of time and treasure in the 50’s and 60’s performing the same function in Iran and then proceeded to make military alliance with Iraq and Saddam when Iran went bad.

There is some irony in the fact that many of the same Mujahadin that we armed and nurtured in their struggle against the Soviet enemy in the 80’s are now training Afghan and Arab recruits to throw us out of the same country.

Every stage of this, no matter who is shooting at whom, in no matter what country, the same interests in the defense industry, in the oil industry, in finance, banking and their investors reap enormous profit.

No profit attends at all to the troops we sacrifice or to their enemy counterparts in these insane resource wars. Their lot is pain and death and the eternal keening of their grief stricken families.

We, as a nation gained nothing in Vietnam, only public debt and private death. Our gains in Iraq and Afghanistan will be the same, public debt, private death and vast treasure for the profiteers.

Tomorrow I’m going out in the yard with a hack saw. I’m going to cut down my monkey bars. I seldom use them any more and I’ll sleep better knowing that the “terrorists” will be unable to get to me.