by Paul Balles
Netanyahu (N) and Obama (O) are on the phone:
N: I want you to catch that schmuck Snowden, lock him up and silence him.
O: Why Ben? He’s another whistle blower like Manning and Assange. How does he affect you?
N: He’s almost as dangerous to us as Vanunu who gave away our nuclear secrets at Dimona.
O: What makes Snowden as dangerous to Israel as Vanunu?
N: Only a very few people know that Israeli companies Amdocs, Narus and Verint in America designed and provided the digital equipment and tracking programmes to your NSA.
N: So, if they get exposed, your public will be screaming for you to get rid of the companies.
O: What would happen if we got rid of them?
N: These bloody leakers would expose how much secret stuff comes to Israel. They’d have us running your NSA.
O: Haaretz has already published several articles on the Israeli connection to NSA programs.
N: Nobody except a few secular Jews in America reads Haaretz. So shut Snowden and his Guardian journalist Greenwald up.
O: How do you suggest I get Snowden out of Russia?
N: Talk to Putin.
O: We’re not that close. We don’t get along well. Besides, he’s busy with his divorce.
N: What are you going to do about Greenwald?
O: What do you suggest?
N: Either arrest him and lock him up as an enemy combatant or else have Clapper arrange for him to disappear.
O: You can manage that with Gaza journalists, but Greenwald has a big following here.
N: He’s also a self-hating Jew supporting Palestinians.
O: He’s very articulate and can make members of Congress, like Peter King, who go after him, look like fools.
N: In any event, you need to keep the public afraid of what would happen if NSA secrets get disclosed.
O: The republicans do a good job with that.
N: While we’re at it, the news out of Egypt is good. The army has taken over. Mursi and the Muslim Brotherhood are out.
O: The Egyptian military had no choice. Either they took over or their billion dollar military budget from America would be cut.
N: Good job Barak, Make sure that you continue to support Egypt’s 1.3 billion dollar budget from America.
O: The Egyptian military even managed to destroy all the tunnels from Egypt into Gaza, which have been the main source of supplies to Gaza for years.
N: That should put to rest 1.8 million Hamas lovers once and for all.
O: I don’t know about that. I think the army just wanted to show us they will cooperate with us as long as we send money.
N: Just so Egyptian funding doesn’t affect Israel’s.
O: What do you want us to do about Syria?
N: They’re doing fine all by themselves. Hezbollah and a few Al-Qaida cells are losing in their tangle with the Syrian army. Assad isn’t about to step down.
O: How does that affect you?
N: We don’t care as long as they keep murdering each other.
O: You’ve heard that a New York law firm has filed suit against five Israeli organizations in America for supporting terrorism by your settlers?
N: I’ve heard. They won’t stop the settlers or the settlements or their supporters in America.
O: You do a good job of keeping people under a blanket of fear.
N: You’re beginning to sound almost Jewish. Keep them afraid.
Obama and Netanyahu hang up together.