People usually fall into the two categories, distinguishing the main features of their character: extraverts and introverts. While extraverts are focused on the other individuals surrounding them, introverts lock their emotion inside, unwilling to share them with others. Thinking, that only introverts act that way isn’t right. Nowadays, having troubles with expressing one’s thoughts or feelings isn’t a weird phenomenon. But why do we deliberately push away people, who want to play a role in our lives?
Desire to avoid the conflict
You may think, that if people acknowledge your genuine feelings, they will definitely reject you or start to argue. Instead of looking for alternative ways to solve the existing problem, you act like the ostrich, hiding the head in the sand. The fear of being involved in the conflict situation restricts you from being yourself. You can chat continuously with wonderful Russian brides or look for a guy online, but to have serious relationships you need to change your attitude and think more objectively.
No one wants to be hurt. Consequently, we put gregarious exertions to protect our fragile feelings from undesirable people. Unfortunately, being too concentrated on ourselves, we start to acquire defensive behavior, suspecting everyone having evil intentions towards us. Deeply harbored feelings possess self-distractive effect. They don’t have to be incarcerated inside the consciousness all the time.
You’re sure, that negative feelings burden people, so you aren’t allowed to have such. Jealousy, trepidation, dissatisfaction, nervousness are emotions making us weak in the society and by getting rid of them, we transform into the really strong individuals. You believe that controlling emotions is vital because you have a fear of being exposed as a vulnerable person, what is, according to you, scornful.
Often even the smartest and the most beautiful people face the problem of self-esteem. It can be the main reason, why one permanently suppresses both feeling and emotions, what hinders considerably the healthy communication. You don’t want to bother others with yourself, because your personality isn’t worth to be heard. So, involuntary you cut off the people, who are truly interested in you.
You think, there doesn’t exist a necessity to inform surrounding you people about your emotions, because everything is obvious. Unfortunately, mind reading is a valuable gift only superheroes have, but lots of us forget about that. We deeply believe, that people owe us something and need to guess and fulfill our deepest desires, which are even unknown for us. And in case they aren’t satisfied, the feelings of hopelessness and solitude become our best comrades.
Exposing the genuine emotions and being absolutely frank with people isn’t a gift, it requires patience and courage, but after gaining that marvelous ability, you’ll eventually get freedom.