In the latest news from the “war on terror,” Bloomberg News Service reports:
“Supporters of the Taliban and al-Qaeda in Afghanistan have been getting U.S. military contracts, and American officials are citing ‘due process rights’ as a reason not to cancel the agreements, according to an independent agency monitoring spending.”
Apparently it would be unfair to discriminate against al-Qaeda when awarding U.S. military contracts.
American taxpayers are not only paying for al-Qaeda’s weapons – we’re also buying them ice cream. According to professional war-on-terror mouthpiece Peter Bergen, US-supported al-Qaeda fighters in Syria have been holding ice-cream-eating contests and posting the videos on-line.
But on thing I AM sure of: I do NOT want to buy those bloodthirsty terrorists any more ice cream!
Why are US taxpayers shipping ice cream to al-Qaeda?
An Obama Administration source, who wishes to remain anonymous, explained:
“Like everyone else, we were horrified by the videos of our al-Qaeda friends in Syria ripping the entrails out of dead bodies and devouring them live on camera. So we thought, why not give them something nice to eat for a change? Maybe if we just sent them a few cargo jets full of Ben-and-Jerry’s finest it would, you know, mellow them out.”
Result: A top secret “ice cream for al-Qaeda” program was set up by the CIA.
But the program quickly hit a snag when Abu Mohammed al-Jawlani, head of the US-funded al-Qaeda-linked al-Nusra front in Syria, complained that the flavors he wanted were unavailable.
When Al-Jawlani called up the CIA to order ice cream, he demanded such exotic flavors as Cannibal Caramel Crunch, Mint Chocolate Human Flesh, Blood Swirl (type B negative), and Chocolate Fudge Ripped-Out-Lung-of-Syrian-Soldier.
After prolonged negotiations, the CIA convinced al-Jawlani to order ordinary ice-cream, and later add special toppings ripped from dead soldiers’ corpses to make exotic ice-cream sundaes. “We saved the taxpayers a fortune by doing it that way,” the Administration source explained. “If we’d had to have Ben and Jerry’s or Baskin-Robbins make up special batches of ice cream containing human body parts, the cost would have been astronomical.”
According to the latest reports, Al-Qaeda has been sharing its cannibal sundaes with its Israeli allies, who in turn have been offering the terrorists “Rachel Corrie pancakes” from flour made with the ground-up bones of murdered Palestinians and international solidarity activists.
Pessimistic observers believe that the recent upsurge in cannibalism by the Zionists and their al-Qaeda allies bodes poorly for the peace process. Optimists, however, hope that that the two groups may one day completely devour each other and leave the region in peace.
Dr. Kevin Barrett, a Ph.D. Arabist-Islamologist is one of America’s best-known critics of the War on Terror.
He is the host of TRUTH JIHAD RADIO; a hard driving weekly radio show funded by listener donations at Patreon.com and FALSE FLAG WEEKLY NEWS (FFWN); an audio-video show produced by Tony Hall, Allan Reese, and Kevin himself. FFWN is funded through FundRazr.
He also has appeared many times on Fox, CNN, PBS, and other broadcast outlets, and has inspired feature stories and op-eds in the New York Times, the Christian Science Monitor, the Chicago Tribune, and other leading publications.
Dr. Barrett has taught at colleges and universities in San Francisco, Paris, and Wisconsin; where he ran for Congress in 2008. He currently works as a nonprofit organizer, author, and talk radio host.