Gaza Flotilla and USS Liberty Survivors Apologize to Israel
Israel Claims Attack Authorized Personally by Lord Balfour
By Gordon Duff STAFF WRITER/Senior Editor
This week “religious commandos” from Israel attacked the Gaza Freedom Flotilla in international waters. Seven Israelis were injured during the attack with one member of the “Israeli Secret Police” thrown overboard by an 81 year old woman. Jerusalem papers report that Israel is holding the woman for attempted sexual assault.
Is it illegal to rape a pirate on the high seas? We are waiting for a ruling from the International Criminal Court at the Hague on this.
One “commando” tripped over a wheel chair in the dark and fell down a flight of stairs. The injured commando, an Obergruppenfuhrer, a rabbinical rank with the IDF, said, “After shooting the man in the chair, I quickly ran over to get his watch. Imagine how I felt, nearly giving my life for a stinking Timex.”
The helicopters and boats used by the “floating and flying rabbis” were paid for by the US as part of a USAID program funding health clinics in Gaza. Israelis working with USAID on the project indicated that they the “Peace Flotilla” was mistaken for a “refugee resettlement cruise.”
“It is our job to care for the Palestinians. We were only there to do medical inspections, picking those that are healthy enough for labor and finding those who are unfit and need “special treatment.” Sixteen were selected for delousing. Relatives of those who received “special treatment” are waiting for a list of names and where to pick up the ashes.
The United States Senate, led by Josef Lieberman, John McCain and Charles “Chuckie” Schumer, voted unanimously to continue their unbroken support for Israeli efforts to provide a decent homeland for Palestinians, “no matter how many of these worthless Muslim bastards have to die in the process.”
Senator McCain was quick to point out, “My father, Admiral McCain helped organize a similar Israeli effort when the USS Liberty became stranded in international waters near the same area. Israel expended four torpedoes, firebombed the ship 3 times using napalm, hit the ship with over 18,000 rounds of cannon fire and even strafed the lifeboats but was unable to save the 34 killed and 174 injured during this rescue attempt.”
USS Liberty survivor Phillip Tourney, when questioned about the incident said, “At least they didn’t try to steal my watch.”
Another USS Liberty survivor praised the Israeli actions, “ Although nothing was wrong with our ship, after the Israelis set it on fire and torpedoed it, every effort was made to by them to motivate our US Navy fire crews. When the Israelis came up firing machineguns at our medical and fire rescue personnel from close range, we had an excellent battle simulation. In fact, the Israeli’s “simulated” several of our medical personnel, treating the dozens of wounded and dying, to death.”
Senator Schumer was quick to point out, “The USS Liberty incident demonstrated the highest bravery any American ally can show. The quick action of the Israeli crew, reloading weapons, putting the dodging and wounded crew in their sights and managing to deal with the guilt and stress for years afterward, the highest level of heroism and sacrifice a son of Zion can display.”
An Israeli press spokesman released the following statement about the Gaza Freedom Flotilla rescue effort:
In the name of the exalted Grand Rabbinical Conclave of Jerusalem and the Office of Judaic Racial Purity we offer our apology for any possible misunderstandings caused by our mission of mercy this week. With our current programs to relocate thousands of elderly Jewish “financial workers” in emergency need for seasonal vacation residences. Other settlers have come to us demanding a safe homeland free of criminal extradition and unencumbered by tax liens, court judgments, copyright laws and other common methods of oppression and victimization of “dual citizens.”
The Judaic Republic of Israel regrets the necessity of seeking “lebensraum” in areas that had been infected with Palestinians, some for a thousand years or longer. We wish that the international community comes to understand that the welfare of the Palestinian people, a people we offered to ship, dead or alive, to any country ready to take them, is foremost in our hearts.
Toward that end, we have been forced to offer new housing, schools and hospitals to serve the Palestinian community. Thus far, we have managed to eliminate 44,000 substandard homes, 86 inadequate schools and to eradicate more than a dozen hospitals along with other unacceptable structures.
During the next 5 to 10 years, with additional aid from the United States, we will begin studying the possibility of replacing the destroyed dwellings with temporary structures. In the interim, the Palestinian residents of Israel are being offered healthful open air accommodations in a supervised environment with plenty of helpful Judaic overseers to render guidance and motivation.
When asked to explain the odd interpretation of international law that allowed military operations on the high seas, we were told that the British government had, in a codicil of the Balfour Declaration of 1917, an agreement between Lord Balfour and Walter Rothschild, a well known British banking enthusiast and amateur zoologist.
Why the Balfour Declaration Empowers Israel to World Rule
The founder of the State of Israel is Walter Rothschild, the man Lord Balfour addressed his famous declaration to. What do we know of this great social visionary and founder of world Zionsim?
Whether Walter Rothschild was acting in his capacity as a zoologist or amateur banker when negotiating with Lord Balfour over Jewish settlements in Palestine is unclear as is the source of clear authority either party had to engage in any such endeavor.
When addressed by “Lord Balfour,” Walter Rothschild was not a “lord” or a “baron.” He was only kept out of an insane asylum because of his wealthy family. Walter Rothschild wouldn’t know a Zionist from a Free Methodist if he found one in his porridge.
Walter Rothschild is best known for his carriage, drawn by six zebras, often seen in London’s streets and for his inability to speak in an understandable manner. Rothschild’s banking career ended in 1908, when he was fired from the family bank. From that point onward, his only activity was collecting photographs of animals and pasting them into a scrapbook. During the years from 1908 through his participation in the Balfour negotiation, Rothschild managed to buy 200,000 bird eggs and over 30,000 beetles.
When Walter Rothschild found the Balfour Declaration in his morning mail at 148 Piccadilly, he had no idea of its meaning or why it had been mailed to him. When questioned about the Balfour Declaration, Walter Rothschild said, ” Whrump wiffen pogel hoobob bobalpop.” Thus, a man who owned two tons of dried “toad droppings” the only subject he expressed any lasting interest in, came to make his contribution to history.
In 1932, Britain, as a reward for opening the letter containing the note from Lord Balfour named Walter Rothschild a Baron based on their belief that the Rothschild family was remotely related to Austrian royalty, which, of course, is not the case.